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Tuesday, December 1, 2015

30 things I have learned from my children in 14 years

Doesn't that even sound strange to say out loud? That's right, folks! November 27th I turned the dirty thirty and my oldest daughter will be 14 on January 19th. My baby girl isn't a baby anymore. But along with parenthood, I have learned alot more from my kids than I have the rest of the world. So I have put together a little list.

1. Life really isn't just about learning about yourself, it's also about creating yourself.

2. When your teenage daughter says, "I hate you" they still love and need you



3. Your kids need to learn to hash out their own arguements before they turn to mom or dad. Side note: If your child is like my oldest, they may make an AWESOME lawyer!

4. It's okay to let your child go to school dressed as Punky Brewster.

5. You most definitely can raise a family on a tight budget. You just have to learn to be creative. And as my late great-grandmother would say, "You can add everything but the kitchen sink in there!"

6. Those moments as mom's when we feel like we are failing and feel the the worst person in the world for our kids, just means we are doing our job! And rocking at it.

7. Your kid's don't care if you swallowed a skunk in your sleep, they will still kiss you with morning breath and all.

8. Although this wonderful number I am still learning. But it is NECESSARY to learn to pick your battles. Choose wisely my friends.

9. Tell them as often as you can that you love them. Tell them that you love them through the good, bad and ugly. Sometimes just hearing it from mommy or daddy just makes it all better. No matter what age they are. Tell them it is 100% impossible for you to not love them.


10. Every once in awhile, surprise your kids with cake or brownies for dinner, I promise they won't miss out on any lack of nutrition and you won't have to cook. You look more like an awesome mom and did I mention that you don't have to cook!?

11. Garbage bags don't make good parachutes, at all.

12. Never leave your infant alone longer than 5 seconds. This kinda stuff happens.



13.Spend less time cleaning your house and making it perfect. When your kids get older they won't remember the messy house. But they will remember all the fun and exciting things they did with you, in that twister destroyed house of yours.

14. The best way to get your children's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. And they will come running like a flock of birds.

15. ALWAYS leave a plastic bag and a small bag of baby wipes in the car, even if you don't have small children. At some point, one of your kids will inevitably throw up. And throw up is the worst possible smell to ever get out of your car.

16. Having a romantic night out with your spouse is not only necessary for your kids, but for your own sanity. So do whatever you have to do to make time for it.


17. As long as you can afford it of course, own a pet. Even if it is something small like a fish. *I* think it teaches your children responsibility at a young age and they will grow up with a best friend,

18. Never EVER take parenting advice from someone who has never had children. They don't know you and they REALLY don't know your children. What is good for the goose isn't always good for the gander.

19.You can child proof your house all day long, but they will still get in.

20. Watching your children play in the rain, is one of the most joyous moments you will ever have in your life! And something they will never forget.



21. My mother always warned me, "Your child is going to be 10 worse than you ever were!" She was right. You heard me mom, YOU WERE RIGHT!

22. Listen when your children talk to you. Even if they walk in the door and start talking about things you really don't want to hear. If you don't listen to them about the small things, they will have problems talking to you about the really big and important things.

23. Let your children see you cry every now and then. It lets them know that you are human and you also have feelings.

24. Your first cousin is usually your best friend, even as you get older.


25. Let your kids do your hair and paint your nails. It may seem silly and goofy to you now, but your kids and nieces and nephews will remember it when they reach their twenties.

26. If you are a mother of boys, it doesn't matter what you do. There feet will ALWAYS stink. Have them take their shoes off on the porch to air out over night.

27. Your children will ALWAYS embarrass you at the most inappropriate time, get used to it. It will only get worse as they get older! Trust me on this one.

28. Get used to weird questions and come up with quick responses. For example, "Mom, why don't mommy's have penises too?" These questions still happen, even if they know about Adam and Eve or not.

29.Yes, he/she is your brother and NO you can't put them for sale on craigslist. Only mommy can do that.

30. You can buy them the most expensive gift they have ever wanted their entire 5 years of life, and they will still spend 8 hours a day playing with the box it came in.

 A) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical.
 B) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. C) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. D) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. E) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.