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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

What will happen in August?

So as you all already know, I have absolutely nothing better to do all day then sit in my own head. Somedays, this is a good thing and other days it is a bad thing. Today I can't decide if it is good or bad. I guess I am kind of neutral about it. As most of you know, my baby will be starting school in August. And with her going to school along with her siblings that leaves me home alone. And I have been asked on more than one occasion what I am going to do with my days since my best friend will be in school. And I have the same answer each time I am asked, "I haven't the slightest clue!"

The amount of pain that I am in on a daily basis would surprise you. The thing about chronic pain, is most of the time people (doctor's included) will act like and treat you like it is all in your head, you are making it up. So it's a toss up. A friend or an acquaintance of yours that lives in chronic pain will tell you that the pain we feel is real and it is scary. Now, I can't speak for anyone else. But, somedays it is very difficult for me to even sit up right away. Sometimes I need to be awake 2 hours ahead of time just so I can get up and get moving like everyone else in the morning. But I fight through it, and I will continue to fight. So working or having any kind of career, just won't happen for me right now at this point in my life.

So I thought maybe I would go back to school. And I wondered just what I would go back to school to learn? So deciding whether or not to go back to school is still something I think about everyday. Because I honestly don't know what I am good at. Besides being a full time mommy for almost 14 years. And being a mommy isn't something you can put on a resume.

And then I thought about running my garden full time. Planting, growing things and selling them. Because who doesn't love fresh fruit and vegetables? But unless I owned a greenhouse, growing things year round will be next to impossible to do. So I sit and wonder, what will happen to me? In a little over 3 1/2 months my babies will all be in school, and I will be sitting at home with nothing to do. 

I really do wish I could work. So I have a steady income coming in. I hate being broke all the time. And I have tried working before. It literally drains me to work even part time. So I thought I would take up some hobbies. 

I can crochet, even though I almost forgot how Lol. I read a lot as it is, and I blog. That is about all I know how to do.  My mind still keeps going back to heading back to college. But for what? I would have to choose a career that wouldn't drain me physically, but still brings in a nice income.

So I am turning to you all, the people who know me best. If I went back to school, what do you think I would be good at?

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