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Tuesday, December 1, 2015

30 things I have learned from my children in 14 years

Doesn't that even sound strange to say out loud? That's right, folks! November 27th I turned the dirty thirty and my oldest daughter will be 14 on January 19th. My baby girl isn't a baby anymore. But along with parenthood, I have learned alot more from my kids than I have the rest of the world. So I have put together a little list.

1. Life really isn't just about learning about yourself, it's also about creating yourself.

2. When your teenage daughter says, "I hate you" they still love and need you

3. Your kids need to learn to hash out their own arguements before they turn to mom or dad. Side note: If your child is like my oldest, they may make an AWESOME lawyer!

4. It's okay to let your child go to school dressed as Punky Brewster.

5. You most definitely can raise a family on a tight budget. You just have to learn to be creative. And as my late great-grandmother would say, "You can add everything but the kitchen sink in there!"

6. Those moments as mom's when we feel like we are failing and feel the the worst person in the world for our kids, just means we are doing our job! And rocking at it.

7. Your kid's don't care if you swallowed a skunk in your sleep, they will still kiss you with morning breath and all.

8. Although this wonderful number I am still learning. But it is NECESSARY to learn to pick your battles. Choose wisely my friends.

9. Tell them as often as you can that you love them. Tell them that you love them through the good, bad and ugly. Sometimes just hearing it from mommy or daddy just makes it all better. No matter what age they are. Tell them it is 100% impossible for you to not love them.

10. Every once in awhile, surprise your kids with cake or brownies for dinner, I promise they won't miss out on any lack of nutrition and you won't have to cook. You look more like an awesome mom and did I mention that you don't have to cook!?

11. Garbage bags don't make good parachutes, at all.

12. Never leave your infant alone longer than 5 seconds. This kinda stuff happens.

13.Spend less time cleaning your house and making it perfect. When your kids get older they won't remember the messy house. But they will remember all the fun and exciting things they did with you, in that twister destroyed house of yours.

14. The best way to get your children's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. And they will come running like a flock of birds.

15. ALWAYS leave a plastic bag and a small bag of baby wipes in the car, even if you don't have small children. At some point, one of your kids will inevitably throw up. And throw up is the worst possible smell to ever get out of your car.

16. Having a romantic night out with your spouse is not only necessary for your kids, but for your own sanity. So do whatever you have to do to make time for it.

17. As long as you can afford it of course, own a pet. Even if it is something small like a fish. *I* think it teaches your children responsibility at a young age and they will grow up with a best friend,

18. Never EVER take parenting advice from someone who has never had children. They don't know you and they REALLY don't know your children. What is good for the goose isn't always good for the gander.

19.You can child proof your house all day long, but they will still get in.

20. Watching your children play in the rain, is one of the most joyous moments you will ever have in your life! And something they will never forget.

21. My mother always warned me, "Your child is going to be 10 worse than you ever were!" She was right. You heard me mom, YOU WERE RIGHT!

22. Listen when your children talk to you. Even if they walk in the door and start talking about things you really don't want to hear. If you don't listen to them about the small things, they will have problems talking to you about the really big and important things.

23. Let your children see you cry every now and then. It lets them know that you are human and you also have feelings.

24. Your first cousin is usually your best friend, even as you get older.

25. Let your kids do your hair and paint your nails. It may seem silly and goofy to you now, but your kids and nieces and nephews will remember it when they reach their twenties.

26. If you are a mother of boys, it doesn't matter what you do. There feet will ALWAYS stink. Have them take their shoes off on the porch to air out over night.

27. Your children will ALWAYS embarrass you at the most inappropriate time, get used to it. It will only get worse as they get older! Trust me on this one.

28. Get used to weird questions and come up with quick responses. For example, "Mom, why don't mommy's have penises too?" These questions still happen, even if they know about Adam and Eve or not.

29.Yes, he/she is your brother and NO you can't put them for sale on craigslist. Only mommy can do that.

30. You can buy them the most expensive gift they have ever wanted their entire 5 years of life, and they will still spend 8 hours a day playing with the box it came in.

 A) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical.
 B) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. C) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. D) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. E) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

10 Places To Score Free Stuff on Your Birthday!

With my birthday just a few short days away, I decided to look for places that offer free stuff! Who doesn't love free stuff? I know I do!! f I have missed anything please let me know and I will add it to the list!!

-Baskin Robbins ~ If you join their email club you get a free scoop of ice cream!

-Dunkin Donuts ~ one FREE coffee on your birthday!

-Dairy Queen ~ You get free blizzard's on your special day. WOO HOO! Blizzards are awesome.

-Hooters ~ Hooter's offers free wings

-Denny's ~  Denny's offers you a free breakfast (of a few different choices) as long as you have ID

-IHOP ~ IHOP gives you a short stack of pancakes

-Arby's ~ Sign up for Arby Deals, and you'll get a free sandwich on your birthday with the purchase of a sandwich

-Ruby Tuesday's ~ You can join the birthday club and enjoy a free burger

-Qdoba ~ Join the Qdoba Rewards Club and get a free burrito on your special day!

-Starbucks ~ On Valentine's Day they offer BOGO coffee's, and if you are a member of their rewards club you also get a free drink on your birthday.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Luck! Or lack thereof..

When it comes to luck, I always say, "If it weren't for bad luck, I would have no luck at all!" This has proven to be true most of my life. Let me give you some examples below:

Back in 2012 I had serious issues with my back and ended up having surgery. The Surgery went well and I went home 5 days later. I got home and started my healing process. Exactly 5 days later, I was up taking care of my kids and doing my daily mom duties and as I was walking outside, I slipped on the icy stairs and landed square on my ass. I went back into my doctor's office as I was instructed and learned that the screws that had been placed in my back were now OUT of place and were pressing directly unto my sciatica nerve causing intense pain. So I had to have a 2nd surgery.

In August of this year, finances became tight and we ended up shutting our phones off because we couldn't afford the bill. I was fine with it, as I truly despise having a phone in the first place. So I dealt with it like I do everything else and all was good. A short 2 months later I had car troubles. While I was on my way out West to get my children's glasses (a 25 minute drive) my car decided to break down on the interstate of all places. Mind you I don't have a cell phone. So even though I can't do a whole lot of walking these days, I started walking, on the interstate. I had to get to a gas station to call someone because my car wasn't going anywhere. I walked about a mile to the gas station. I get there and the gas station does NOT have a payphone. So I walked inside and asked if they would let me use the phone. She very rudely said, " You can, but it will cost you $2" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? To use a phone that YOU don't even pay for? Well I just said to myself "it is what it is" and proceeded to get cash out of the ATM because I don't carry any cash at all most of the time. I walk over and the ATM is being worked on. The ATM is out of order/ At this point I am FURIOUS and ready to throat punch this woman. But I kept my cool, went into the bathroom and as I sat down I realized that I had WiFi. So I proceeded to call someone on Facebook (that really came in handy, thanks Facebook!) I was relieved! I got ahold of someone and proceeded to sit in there little breakfast nook that they had. The very rude gas station made sure to come on over and proceeded to inform me that the breakfast nook was for "paying customer's only" and I had to purchase something if I wanted to sit there. And there credit card machines were down. So I guess I am sitting outside while I wait. This was during our first 'cold' week of the month. It was about 40 degrees outside. I was furious.

By the time my help arrives, I get back to my car and we try to access the problem so I can continue on. The car was having issues but I was told it was okay to continue on, so I do. I get about 3 miles down the road and I get off the interstate. As I am stopping at the light, my piece of crap car decides to die out! Right in the middle of the street. I was furious and kicking myself and thought "I knew I should have went home.." I sat in the middle of the off ramp for almost 30 minutes before a very kind citizen of this horrible city decided to stop and ask if I needed help/ I used his phone and called for my help to come get me because my car wasn't even turning over. I thanked him profusely for stopping. I was almost in tears. I couldn't believe that I sat, broke down in the middle of the off ramp for almost a half an hour before anyone stopped to help/ While I was waiting to be rescued, again! I had to get my car out of the way. I had almost been rear-ended twice because people just don't pay attention. So I slammed the bitch and neutral and pushed it out of the way. It almost killed me. Everyone who knows me already knows that because of my health issues this is something that I shouldn't have done. I did regret it the next day because every orifice in my body was hurting. But I knew that I had to do what I had to do to get it done.

I left the car that day, and waited a few hours to have it towed home. Here it is the middle of November and it is still sitting. I have no car. Because that is how my luck goes. I think I have the worst luck on the planet. At least that is how it feels most days. But that doesn't stop me from trying to make things better.

I do believe that you can make your own luck, so that's what I try to do. I don't have a lucky number at all. But I do have my lucky unicorn! It's sounds weird, but I do have a unicorn that goes everywhere with me and most people don't know about it. It is a unicorn "coin" that was given to me as a gift from my grandma. It is always with me. The day of my car breaking down, I didn't have my unicorn with me. I'm not sure if that was pure bad luck or if it was just fate, I guess I will never know. All I do know is that is has gone with me everywhere every single day since. So I hope it helps turns things around for me. I guess only time will tell :)

How is your luck? Are you the superstitious type?

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Children and Technology

It is almost 2016 and a lot has changed in this millennium. So much has changed so quickly that is almost makes my head spin. I can't believe all that has changed from "back in my day." And I say that like I am the oldest person in world. But it leaves me almost dumbfounded.

I remember when I was 14 I was rocking a pager. My parents had given me the choice of the 25lb cell phone (that had just made it's debut) or a pager, and I opted for the pager because even then I didn't want anyone to get a hold of me quickly. The internet had also just made it's debut and it didn't have anything that is does today. It was just something new that had come out and very few people even used it.

It was brand new and I didn't like it, still don't. I have never been a person who is good with change. So when the internet made it's debut I didn't think twice about it. We didn't have smart phones or facebook and twitter. We had school. In order to get a message around to your friends you had to pass notes. And we thought we were the coolest kids ever. Of course, this was the early 90's. But we still loved writing our notes with our awesome and what we thought, very expensive gel pens.

Now let's fast forward to 2015. As of this year there is so much technology it makes your head spin 8 ways from Sunday. We have GPS, Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, Facetime, Skype, laptops and printers, smart cars, common core, spaulding learning, playstations, Xbox's, Netflix, Cable, Satelitte, Google Earth, tablets and Ipad's, and smart watches. Why do we need any of these things?

Because we live in a day in age where we have to have these things. You have to have a telephone of some sort, especially if you have kids. In the school system they have your children working with things in the internet, they have to do research on the computer and not the old fashioned way. Going to the library, looking the book up, reading it and doing your assignment. Things have changed so much it's scary to me.

Everything has become so reliant on technology that we have smart washing machines and smart refrigerators and smart oven's. Why? I have my opinion on that. We as a society have become pure lazy. We have relied so much on technology that if the nation were under a fire sale, we would be screwed as an entire nation. Our children wouldn't know what to do if they had to do without it all. To them, we would be living back in the stone age and that makes my heart hurt.

Where our nation and school systems are failing us (just my thought) we as parent's need to step up and teach our children what they need to know. Would your children know what to do if they didn't have technology to help them? If you walked up to them right now, would they be able to give you change for a $100 bill without needing a calculator? Do they know how to read a map? Do they know how to read sheet music? Do they know how to do research on a topic, without the assistance of the internet or any other new technology? Do they know all of our nation's amendment's?

These are the questions I don't have answers for. So what do we do as parent's to teach them? What roads do we take to teach our children what our school system isn't? Are your children to reliant on technology?

Don't get me wrong, as a society we have needed change. We have needed to upgrade our technology to survive, but is it all really necessary?

I have asked a lot of questions here. Do you have answers for any of them?  Let me know what you have to say below!

Friday, October 30, 2015


Halloween is probably one of my favorite times all year. I love it because free candy! And it is the one and only time of year that you can dress up and be whomever and whatever you choose to be and no one will look at your funny while you are doing it. I say the same thing every year but I never dress up. Actually as I sat and thought about it, I haven't dressed up for Halloween in 20 years. You read that right! 20 years was the last time I really got into the holiday. As I have become an adult and mommy, I more enjoy watching my kids have a blast. Here is a picture of them from last year, we also took our neighbor girl with us:
The little unicorn is our neighbor girl (Cheyenne) The tall one in the back is my Katie bug, followed by my son Jonathan and my youngest Jackie. They really love the Halloween. They can be whoever they want and get to go knocking on doors and get free candy, who doesn't love free candy?\

You look at my oldest and you almost think she is to "old" to go trick or treating, right? In this picture she was just 3 months shy of her 13th birthday. I have had a lot of people tell me that they think she is to old to go trick or treating and she shouldn't be. What makes her to old? Is there a qualification list for trick or treating that I don't know about? Where is it? I don't understand why people think she is to old. Right now, if I could get away with it and afford it, I would dress up and go trick or treating too.

This year she is just 3 month's shy of her 14th birthday and she is going trick or treating again this year, and I think it is awesome. She has grown a lot in the last year. So this year I had to get her costume out of the women's area of it, but I am fine with it. She is going as a greek goddess and she will rock it! She will make an awesome greek goddess in my opinion. I also tag teamed with my little sis and between her 3 kids and my younger 2 kids, we have every single color of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The pictures from this year are going to be awesome and I can't wait to take them.

Most people take their kids to the pumpkin patch every year. I have never taken my kids. Why? Because I can't afford $16.75 a person x 5. Plus the price of pumpkins. Maybe it is just me, or maybe I am cheap, but that is EXPENSIVE! So I did this year, the same thing I did last year. We grew our own pumpkins. Sure, we miss out on the fun that pumpkin patches have to offer, but this way is much cheaper for us and I rather enjoy the look on my kids faces as they watch our own pumpkins grow. We didn't get as many pumpkins as we did last year.

But we still managed to have enough for each of the kids to carve a pumpkin. And watching their creativity with the pumpkins was so much fun to enjoy!

 My oldest decided that she didn't want to carve one this year. So this one on the right, is my son's design. And the one right underneath it is my youngest daughter's. We put some glow sticks on the inside of them. As an adult, they are not spooky to me whatsoever. But to my children, these are the scariest pumpkins ever!!! And we are the only house on our entire block that even carved any pumpkins and set them out. That was disappointing to me, but my kids think it is awesome.

The one thing that we seem to never be able to do is visit a Haunted House. Our family is all about all things scary. Just about every movie that we own is a horror flick or series or something in the scary department. My five year old's favorite movie is Child's Play and of course Chucky is her favorite! I get asked all the time, "Do they have nightmares?" No they don't! They have watched horror movies from day one and they have never bothered them.

I think we will always be horror fans. I wish they had Halloween more than once a year! I think the best part for me is watching them get scared walking up to decorated houses and watching scary people pop up and try to make them pee their pants. Does anyone else enjoy that as much as I do, or am I alone?

All things scary and spooky are and will always be apart of our household. What about you? Does your family do all things scary and spooky or do you steer away from them?

Friday, October 23, 2015

The Future

I think it goes without saying that everyone thinks about their future. You are constantly asking yourself questions like "Where will I be in 10 years?" or "Will I still be where I am today?" or "Will my children be everything I see them to be?"

These are just a few questions that I know everyone has asked. I know I have asked them time and time again. The biggest question I always ask myself and EVERY  good parent does is, "Am I doing a good job raising my children?" Every parent on the face of the Earth has asked this question time and time again. Everyone wonders if they are failing as a parent. They wonder where their children will be 5 and even 10 and 20 years down the road. But I am going to let you in on a little secret...

Tomorrow is never promised. Ever. Everything in your life could be going exactly how you want it to and you can have the job and car and man/woman of your dreams and it can all be gone tomorrow. I know that this way of thinking is NO way to live your life. But is it really? Everyone dreams about the future and what tomorrow holds for us, but I have stopped trying to figure my future out. I could be on the right path to get to where I want to be and guess what? LIFE happens. More recently, everything in my life was going fantastic! My children were doing great in school and at home, I had a job and a car and so IN love with the man of my dreams. Everything seemed like it was on the right track for once in my life! And God had other plans in store for me, apparently. My body took a turn for the worst. Just getting out of bed was and is a chore for me. I no longer have a paying job (being a stay at home mommy is a job!) and I also don't have a telephone, or a car. All I have is my children and my man. He works so very hard and puts in a lot of hours at work just to take care of us financially. I know it is hard on him some days. Before him and I got together, it was just him. All he had to worry about was paying his bills and taking care of himself. And almost overnight he went from party of 1 to Party of 5! And he has been supporting us since. I know it hasn't been easy on him to say the least, but it also hasn't been easy on me either. 

With the pain that I endure on a daily basis, just trying to convince myself to shower on the regular has been a very hard task lately. I have problem after problem and it makes it very, very hard for me to think/dream/imagine my future, because I am scared for what I might see. I don't like living this way so I try very hard to be optimistic and see the bigger picture. And there are only a few things I foresee in my future.

Constant, agonizing, pain of which I can't escape from. My health will continue to take a downward spiral and there is nothing I can do about it. What is done is done. So from now until the end of time I just want to learn how to control it. Right now I can say with 100% certainty that it controls me. It controls whether I get up out of bed that day. Whether or not I decide cook dinner, etc. It controls every single aspect of my life and I am tired of living this way. I am tired of living in agonizing pain. I just want to be able to control it. Get a handle on it so I can live a somewhat functional life. Is that to much to ask?

I want my children to pursue their dreams. They already pursue their interests now. But I want them to find passion and purpose and dream BIG with whatever they decide to do in this life. And most of all I want them to be so unconditionally happy! I want them to see how great life is and I want them to grab it by the balls and make life their bitch!

I want the man that I love to see himself as I see him. He has been through a lot over the years and everything that has happened has made it hard for him to open his heart 100% to me, even after a little over 2 years of being together. He knows it, and I know it. I want him to see that he is the only man for me, I have never wanted anyone else but him. And I want him to trust in the bond that we have created with each other. There is no greater force in this world than a strong willed couple. I believe that love, trust and communication are the keys to a successful relationship. Take a leap of Faith and let things happen as they should, when they should. I don't know what our future together as a couple looks like as I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I do know is any relationship takes work and sacrifice and both people involved have to be willing to put in the work.

The future seems so far away, yet so close I can taste it. I dream about it all the time. But sometimes I wonder, are they just that, dreams? I guess there is only one way to find out!

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Dear Me:

I say 30 yr old me, because I am hoping some things will change in the next few months (5 to be exact) so here goes nothing..

Dear Me,

      When we were 15 and pregnant, we were scared to death. Who is 15 and pregnant and doesn't get judged because of it (this was 2001 for those counting..) We had such a hard time coping. Pregnancy and school and parents and grandparents. Our family wasn't really surprised. It seems to be a god given right for us all to get pregnant before wedlock. But then my oh so wonderful mother had the hair up her ass to move to Tennessee. And things are backwards and WAY different over there than here in Nebraska. I was not allowed to go to school while I was pregnant over there because I was what they (still) call a bad influence on the other kids. So work we did, until my Katie bug came along.

Having my wondeful daughter (Kathleen Rea) was the best thing that could have ever happened to me at the point in my life, It sounds crazy, but she kept me on the straight and narrow and let me keep my priorities straight, Giving birth and becoming a mother at 16 changed my whole entire world, and for the better.

20 comes and you get pregnant with my one and only handsome son. I changed with him a well. Before I found out I was pregnant i was going out all the time, drinking and not having a care in the world because I knew my baby was in good hands. So my son came along and then I became a mommy of two exactly 10 day before my 21st birthday. On my 21st birthday, I stayed at home with my 10 day old son and we slept the night away. I changed. I was not just the mother of 1 but 2 and I really needed to get my shit together.

So I grew up quickly. I had no choice but to grow up quickly because I made the choice to have not one, but two children and I was the only parent to them both so I really, really, had to keep my ducks in a row.

When Jonathan was 3 I made the very stupid, stupid, careless decision to get married. One of two of my worst mistakes ever. I knew what kind of coward he was and is, but I just said fuck it and did it anyway. Worse mistake ever. We separated 6 months later and I haven't seen or heard from him since. Could be because I threw all of his shit on the lawn and torched it until it was ash. Cuz I am crazy like that.

After my 3rd and final child I had my tubes tied. Smart thing at the time considering I was immune to every birth control on the planet. So I did and went on with my life as a single mother of 3 single kids.

Now lets skip some of the middle and go straight for present day. Right now I am only about 4 months away from my 30th birthday and it honestly scares me. 25 didn't scare me, when I was a quarter century old, but 30 does.

I am not sure why, but it does. Probably because having back surgeries was the worst mistake to date. Once I had surgery my entire body, mind and soul all ran away at once. This year marks the 3rd year since my surgeries. Every month that goes by, and every year that goes by my entire body and soul get worse day by day. I am so sick it is unreal. Everyone I tell probably look at me like I am crazy or lying. But having surgery made my entire body downfall. Leukemia and ovarian cancer didn't help matters.

But when I wake up each morning, I cry. I cry because it hurts to move, it hurts to breathe and I hate being in my own skin. I cant
 go outside and play football with my only son because if I fall I will cause premanent damage to my body. I can't go down the water slides at the pool with my kids because sitting on that concrete makes me feel like I am sitting on a boulder for hours. I can't just jump out of bed because every bone in my body feels like its on fire things to the fibromyalgia.

Some days it isn't so bad. But otheres, like days when it is going to rain and there is a change in barometric pressure I hurt so bad all I do is sit at home all day and cry because I hate being in my own skin. When I say I HURT I am not saying it for attention or for someone to say "yeah right, she is such a liar" I am saying it because I hurt so bad sometimes I wish I could fall asleep and wake up in someone else's body just so they can see what it feels like. Every year the pain in my body gets worse. And I am slowly but surely falling apart. I am tired all the time and weak, my hair is falling out and what is left is turning silver. And 10/10 days I feel like I am fucking up as a parent and a girlfriend. Speaking of which.

I have been with my man for almost 2 years now. The first year was pretty easy. We were getting to know each other on a mental and physical level and I thought I had met my soulmate. Sometimes, even today (bad day) I wonder if he isn't my soul mate. But after him and I finally moved in together everything changed. He changed and I changed to.  I don't know when or were we went wrong but somewhere along the lines we lost each other. We have both grown into 2 different people and I think this is the point where it makes or breaks a relationship and I am not really sure what tomorrow holds. We have both made our share of mistakes. But most days it is always just my fault and I am exhausted.

I am physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted and I need a time out from reality. I am in therapy, that is helping me so/so. But at least for me, it is a step in the right direction to making a better me.

So by the time I am 30 I really hope that I have my ducks in a row and we work things out and it is all that it is supposed to be... As screwy as our relationship seems to outsiders, its like we are perfect for each other and he is just to stubborn to see it. And I am tired of fighting and arguing and the anger and rage. Anger and rage and just plain HATE is no way to go through life. It will age you quicker than you want it to.

I am almost 30, by the time I am 32 we will have owned our own home, have 3 children, 2 dogs and 2 cats. Almost the perfect set up right? I should be happy right? .......

Except I feel like something in my life is missing and I don't know what it is. I mean, the only time I leave the house is to go to the store or to a school function. Otherwise I don't go anywhere. Maybe that needs to be one of my 30yo goals. To make new couple friends for us both and actually have a social life.

Over the years I think everyone changes. Whether it be changing for the good or for the bad, everyone changes and sometimes we don't even realize it

So for the next few months (before 30) here are my goals;

  • To keep changing for the better
  • less arguing and fighting and more talking
  • spend less time cleaning and more time with my kids that are growing up to fast..
  • Somehow learn how to love myself again. Because if I can't love myself there is no way I can ever 100% give my heart to someone else and love my man and kids the way I want to
  • Less battling with my teenager and more listening
  • Spend more time with my Babymama and our kids

And last but not least..

  • Go on more one on one dates with my man so he can see, understand and finally get that he is the only one I want to be with..
  • And lots more camping

But I guess only time will tell... What do you think?

Friday, July 10, 2015

Our Garden (picture blog)

This will be mostly a picture blog. I will try and add captions to them though. There is a lot more. I just haven't taken pictures of all that is growing the front yard :)