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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Beginning

So there have been a lot of things that have changed in my life lately. But with the help of my oh so strange therapist I have began to look at things a little differently. Since I am looking at things and life a bit differently there have been some changes in my life.

First and foremost. I am not putting up with anyone's shit. If you are about drama or you are starting drama I will indeed block you on facebook and in real life as well. I don't care if you are family or a friend I have known since before puberty. That is it, I am done. I don't want any part of it anymore. I won't deal with it, I won't in anyway put up with it. I have reached my breaking point. I hate drama, and if that is all you are going to do is create drama I really don't want anything to do with you anymore. My life is slowly but surely getting quiet.

See, I am not a people person at all. Because in general most people are stupid. So I am what others call a homebody or a "loner" and I have absolutely no intention of changing that. I enjoy sitting by myself, I enjoy being around no one but myself. Because I enjoy my own company and there are some people in this world that I don't even think enjoy their own company but at least I can say that, can you? My therapist doesn't think that this is a good quality to have. She has told me I have "severe social issues" among many other things. But regardless of what she says, I am not going to change this. Maybe I am just stubborn who knows.

I am only about making my family and myself happy. And by my family, I mean my children and my man and myself. Because another thing I have learned lately is that if I am not happy, I can't make anyone else happy. So I have been working on that as well as cutting out the constant drama in my life. And I will get there one day and I do not care who does and doesn't like what I do. It is my life and the only person in this world I need to please is myself.

I know that saying things and actually doing them are two completely different things. Because usually I don't have the motivation. But that is slowly changing as I am changing. One day at a time is all I can do right now. Actually I prefer to take things one minute at a time these days. At least when I do that, then I won't feel as disappointed when I don't reach my goal or said task.

It is just the beginning and it will get better, It has to right?

5 comments:

  1. You've got me when ever need to message me I will respond as fast as possible. I love ya jessie, and things will get better <3

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  2. I believe, as I have for most of my life, people outside my family can be my lifeline. I would always encourage you to keep communication open with one or two friends who love you just because they want to, not because they were born to you.

    Honestly, one can never have too many friends. Isolation breeds depression and always has. I love my alone time and I understand liking the solitude of family life, but when you need help with anything, your choices are limited. When you need or want an opinion about something, you are limited. Friends make you laugh when you don't want to. Friends are a good thing.

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  3. It amazes me how much you and are alike. I am a loner and value my little family above anything else. It is the way I am. I don't deal with drama and am also willing to block people on a dime. I just don't tolerate a lot. It is your life and you must do what makes you happy.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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  4. I enjoy a certain amount of solitude (ahh, the quiet!), but I think people who close themselves off too much miss much of the richness life has to offer.

    I'm very close to my husband, children, and grandkids, and they are definitely the center of my life. That being said, contact with and closeness to loving friends brings me enormous joy, too. There's a certain amount of bravery required in being willing to be open and to invite people in. Yes, it can bring heartache and pain--but the rewards far outweigh the risks.

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  5. It's not over, you do the best for your kids and your smart not to care what others think!! I m here is you wanna talk, send me a message <3

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