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Thursday, October 11, 2012

Peace and Comfort


As I look at this boy, I see someone who is comfortable in his own skin, as he digs his toes into the sand. Someone who is at peace within himself and enjoying the peace and quiet.

These are things that I am not. I am not someone who is comfortable in their own skin and I am not at peace within myself. Since I have become sick, I have looked at myself in a completely different way. I have lost all self-confidence in myself. I am not comfortable in my own body. Most days, I can't stand even looking at myself because I have just become disgusted with what I see. Don't worry though, it is something I am working on. But if I could be like this boy, I wouldn't need to worry.

Peace, is something that is few and far between. I have 3 kids that I raise on my own. The only time I have peace and quiet is at midnight when all of my children are down, the neighborhood dogs are up and everyone else is sleeping. And what happens? My mind RACES. I constantly think of what still needs to be done, how I am going to do this that or the other and what exactly is going to happen the next day. He looks like he is at peace with himself and within himself and I am JEALOUS!

What I wouldn't give to be this boy, just for a night....


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3 comments:

  1. I hope things work out for you--wishing you the best!

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  2. i find, like the boy, that if i find something in our world, something nature has given us, that i can put things in some kind of perspective.. for instance, lately the clouds have been amazing to look at... seriously amazing... i look at them and am reminded that life really is simple, and carefree... it is us that make it complicated.... by looking at the clouds, i am able to think of things that are good and right, and use those thoughts to guide my day... (not always easy, but very much worth the effort).... the boy is probably content because he chooses to see life simply, no matter the obstacles....

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  3. Depression and anxiety can really make things awful. I know you are working on things. And that is a step in the right direction!! However just remember-- worrying and mind racing--never solved a single problem. So get you some sleep so you can "deal" with life in the morning :) I wish you the best as you work through things.

    Cheers, Jenn.

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