Today's Prompt: Make A Wish ~ What Talent Would You Wish For?
This happens to be a bit of a challenge for me. Because I think if I could make a wish, it wouldn't be for any sort of talent, at least not in my conscious state anyways. But I think if I really could make a wish and wish for talent it would be to be less of a loner.
When I was younger, I was this free spirited young girl who wanted to do everything, and I was that teenage girl who spent hours on the phone with her boyfriend and hours on the phone with her girlfriends rambling about any and everything and constantly going out and doing things and being around people.
But life happened, and life happened fast for me. Got knocked up when I was 15 and became a mommy at the wee young age of 16. And she is my pride and joy (along with my other 2!) but having my daughter completely changed me, and not for the better in all aspects. I went from being this extrovert who was always doing things to a full time mommy, full time student, and part time worker. I was exhausted. So when I wasn't taking care of my daughter (single I might add) I was going to school or working. I never had time for anyone or anything and slowly but surely I drifted away from everyone. I had lost most of my friends in the first place because I was that "bad influence" that no one really wanted to be around, but I just drifted because my daughter was my entire world and my teenage years went out the window, overnight.
So as the years went on and I focused SOLELY on my daughter, I lost myself in the process. I became that person who got up with her child morning, noon and night. I was that person who never left the house unless it was to the grocery store, doctor appointment or work. Yeah I was the mommy who devoted everything to her child(ren) and I don't regret a day of it and I still don't.
But.. I am the biggest loner I have ever met in my life Lol. I am the person who would rather sit at home and watch tv by herself. I am a person who doesn't like people. I don't like people because frankly, the world is full of idiots. And if you are acting an idiot I am just the kind of person who would tell you straight to your face that you are acting a fool.
Life has happened and in the process I have lost myself and even to this day at almost 27 years old I am still trying to find myself. But I haven't been out in years. I haven't even gone on a date. I don't do lunch dates, or shopping and I most certainly don't "hang out" with anyone because after awhile, even my closest friends start to get on my nerves because that is just how much I really don't like people.
And don't get me wrong, even I know this is not normal, and as I have stated before I am in therapy for my weird ways LOL But why am I this way? Because I want to be. I choose not to be around people and I choose not to socialize and I don't get along with very many people in real life and I'm still uncertain as to why. But this is just how I am.
So if I could make a wish, and wish for any talent in the world, it would be to be less of a loner. I would love to be able to get along with people and socialize and have a "Mom's Night Out" or a "Girls Night Out" or even just a date. For awhile I wondered if it wasn't just depression (part of it is..) but I am on medication/therapy for certain things and I still make the conscious choice to not be around people. I would rather sit on this laptop blogging away all by myself then to have a BBQ with my neighbors or have coffee with a friend.
Is that a strange wish? Lol..Until tomorrow my friends!!
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