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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Shit My Kids Say...

So I was lurking around in this awesome group I belong to on Facebook and I wasn't sure what I was going to post about, because I try and post as regular as possible, because I just love that place. Anyways, I was minding my own business procrastinating the ENDLESS amount of house work, yard work and laundry I have to do and I decided to post about what my son said on his first day of Pre-Kindergarten last year.

It was his first day of school and I think I was more nervous then he was. But I walked him and my oldest into school. Immediately my daughter took off to socialize, but my son was a little skeptical of the whole situation. So I walked him over to the breakfast table and told him I was going to stay for breakfast and to walk him to his room. We walked over to the breakfast table and a fellow classmate of his was crying because he wanted his mommy and wanted to go home. My son looked up at me and said, "Mom, why is his vagina leaking!?" .. I was floored. For those that don't understand that. In my house that is the term I use when one of my children are whining. Yes, my son usually calls it a "leaky gyna".. But when he said it, his teacher was in earshot and heard the entire thing and looked at me like I was insane. At that moment I wasn't sure if I should be worried or proud.. o_O

My oldest daughter who is about to turn 11 just started officially hitting puberty. You know the entire works. Hair, boobs, periods, everything. So she walks up to me one day and says "Mom, I know why my boobs are growing!" Me: "Why are they growing honey?" Her: "Everytime I eat, my boobs hurt and that's what makes them grow, so I am going to stop eating" ... Needless to say her and I had to have another "womanhood" discussion, because as we all already know, eating doesn't make our boobies grow.

My son lost a tooth one day, and he was super excited for the tooth fairy to come. However the next morning, he was a tad bit disappointed. He woke up and came and woke me up before the sun had even rose. My mommy instincts kicked in and I thought something was wrong, or he wasn't feeling well. So I asked him, "What's wrong baby!?" He looked at me all sad eyed and disappointed and said "MOM! I think the tooth fairy is broke, she only left me a dollar!" REALLY? Lol When I was his age, I was lucky to get a quarter and he wants to cry about a dollar!!

I always vowed to raise my kids with enough dysfunction to make them funny. But at the rate I am going, I am not sure whether to be worried or proud that they are turning out just as dysfunctional as I am.

Ahh, forget that. I am definitely one proud mama to some awesomely dysfunctional kids!!! :D


  1. LMAO, that is hilarious! I bet that teacher about filled her pants when she heard your son talking about a leaking vagina!! I sprayed my computer with the pop I was drinking and almost choked on that one. LOLOLOLOL That made my day! Seriously. And I woke up a little melancholy. LOL Thank you, I needed that.


  2. I used to get a big kick watching Art Linkletter's show "Kids say the darnedest things".
    They certainly do! Sounds like you have some candidates for a TV show

  3. Lmao You should be proud. with all you have overcome and gone through, your kids are well adjusted and brilliant! :)


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