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Friday, July 27, 2012


So I got some rather disturbing news the other day, that of which I am not ready to share yet. But it has definitely got me thinking about things, especially with a completely different outlook. But this is where Im stuck.. Have I reached YOLO (You Only Live Once) or FISH (Fuck It Shit Happens)? Yeahhh I think Im looking at things from both angles.

So with my horrible, life altering news I have decided to change things drastically in my life. I am cutting certain people out and learning the hard way who my friends really are. With cutting people out I have decided that my biological father will no longer have anymore space in my heart or mind. If I am not important enough to him, then he just isn't worth my time anymore. If he doesn't care at all, why should I? So he is gone, forever gone. It was a very very hard choice to make, but it has been made and once my mind is made up, that's it.

I have also decided that life is just way to short to play by the rules. I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what I do in life, someone will either love me for it, hate me for it, or just plain won't agree with me. But why should I bother trying to make anyone else happy, when no one is trying to make me happy? Ahhh it's just no longer apart of my life plan. The only persons I am worried about making happy anymore are myself, my children and my man. If my family happens to disapprove of whatever, then I don't give a rats ass! As long as my children are taken care of, nothing else should matter. Fuck it, shit happens!!

I am 26 years old and I have yet to live my life. I am young and what I am about to go through is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. But it's going to happen whether I like it or not. It isn't going to be easy and it will be the biggest obstacle I will ever have to overcome as a person. It will be hard for me, my children and anyone who is in my life. And to be completely honest, reality has yet to set in for me. I haven't broke down and cried or even figured out what I am going to do. But at this very moment, I am taking things one day at a time because right now that is all that I can handle. I mean after all, you only live once right?

Today, I went and did something I never thought I would willingly want to do, I went shopping! And anyone who truly knows me, knows that I am not a person who enjoys going shopping, but since I am taking things one day at a time, I decided against my usual daily chores and went shopping, what did I have to lose? Tomorrow I am going camping and Im not sure how long I am going to be gone.

Being in the wilderness, is the best feeling in the world for me. I feel free. I don't have to hide who I really am, and I can do as I please. I don't have any technology or running water or electricity out there. It is just me and the wilderness. It's quiet and peaceful and just plain free. I love it. And I will be with the love of my life and that will make things even better.

You see, there are quite a few people that don't want to see us together, not just my family but his as well.. Although he won't openly admit it to me Lol.. But I don't care and neither does he! It's our relationship and not anyone elses, if they don't like it they don't have to. But this love is ours! And they can just get the hell over it!

So I have decided that I am not going to play by the rules anymore. Life is just to damn short to be living to please everyone but yourself. So if you take away anything from this blog, remember this:

~If you can't make yourself happy, you can't make anyone else happy.

~Live life like there is NO tomorrow, because one day there may not be a tomorrow.

~Love with all you have, and make sure you let your loved ones know it, before it is too late.

~Laugh! Laughter is the best medicine in the world..


~ALWAYS kiss your babies good night, even if they are sleeping

So, I ask...

.. Do you live YOLO or FISH?


  1. I try to live YOLO. But I think its important to see it both ways at certain times. I love you and am here for you always <3. Life just isn't fair I have come to realize, but we must deal with the cards we are handed and play the damn game anyway. Give me a call or text me sometime, <3 Great post btw

  2. Have a wonderful time camping. I am taking my two little boys camping on Tuesday and I can hardly wait. I grew up camping and they are some of my most cherished memories. There is nothing like falling asleep while listening to the river rush by. Best of luck to you, Jesse.

    1. They are some of my best memories as well!! I love doing it the old fashioned way. Without electricity or campers or anything like that!! My kids just LOVE swimming in the River!

  3. Now you have me worrying about you. Your attitude, however, is outstanding. Live every day to the fullest. That's my motto! Have fun camping!

    1. Darlene, my attitude is only outstanding because I can firmly say that I am in DENIAL. Lol We haven't gone out camping tonight. Decided to wait until tomorrow because of the storm rolling in. Don't need my tiny one getting scared.. lol


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