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Sunday, June 3, 2012

High School

I know in one of my first blogs I talked a little bit about high school for me. But what I haven't talked about was how life changing it really was for me. I think everyone says that high school is when you "learn" who you are and etc.. But high school wasn't really a walk in the park for me by far.


I did a lot of experimenting in high school, and no I don't mean with drugs (ok, those too lol) But I never really did feel like I fit in. I was the girl with coal black hair down to my ass, wearing leather pants and harley shirts. Or I would wear anything that had to do with rock n roll because I was really into some rock n roll back in high school. I was also the stoner, who walked into class completely baked, and I didn't care. I never cared about anything, and I had the worst attitude in the world. I spent most of my days in suspension or being suspended because I was just plain crazy back then... But something happened when I was 15 that changed everything..


A week after my 9th grade graduation, I found out I was pregnant. Yeah, part of me was shocked because I never thought I would be "that girl" who got pregnant in high school. But at the same time I was on birth control so I was completely terrified. I was scared and worried and I thought for sure my mother would kill me LOL.. But I survived.


I did graduate my 9th grade, and shortly after that we moved to Tennessee to take care of my sick grandfather. I remember going to the local high school to enroll, and was I in for a shocker. When my mother and I spoke to the principal, we were then informed that I couldn't enroll at all. The principal didn't want me in the high school because I was a "bad influence" to my fellow peers and I needed to enroll into the alternative school that was over 2 hours away in Nashville. And at the time, travelling 4 hours a day just wasn't an option. So I couldn't finish high school there. I instead, opened my own business at the age of 15. I started a cleaning business.


I did cleaning for a company called "Waste Management" and cleaned the local office, and that is how I paid rent every month. And I worked that job all the way to the day (literally) that I gave birth to my daughter. Four months after I gave birth, I moved back to Nebraska.


My daughter's father and I separated shortly afterwards. I was enrolled full time at the local alternative high school. That high school for teen moms and all the misfit kids, Im sure you know the high school. And I was attending high school full time and working full time at the Subway down the street from the school. Being 16 with a child, in school and working was just too much for me.


I wanted to attend school, but getting knocked up at a young age didn't help matters. I was a mother and my childs needs always came before mine. So I dropped out of high school and started working full time. I later on did get my GED, but that wasn't for years later.


High school was everything to me. I went from being a full time "Barney Bad Ass" to being a full time mommy and part time bad ass LOL Having my daughter when I did, completely changed my life. 


It made me realize that there was a lot more to life then drugs and rock n roll and changed me for the better..


I did manage to meet some of my best friends in high school. Quite a few of which I am still friends with to this day. And some days I really do miss being that careless teenager. But I am glad that I had my daughter when I did, she really was the miracle I needed to have at that point in my life...


Until next time my friends... :)

25 comments:

  1. I am sorry you had such a rough time but glad that at least one beautiful thing (or person) came out of it.

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  2. Babies are miracles every single time. They don't choose to be conceived but they do choose to be loved. I'm very glad that baby came, she may have saved her mommy's life.

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  3. Jessie, I love the honesty in your blogs and your willingness to put it all out there. Your daughter was born for a reason. That's beautiful. Good for you, getting your GED! Loved hearing about your motivation to work at such an early age.

    You are a survivor! Best of luck to you, Jesse!

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    1. Thank you! I am certainly doing my best thats for sure :)

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  4. You are a strong woman! Getting your life back on the steady road and being a mother ... you did all that at a very young age. I admire you

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    1. Thanks Phoenix. It definitely hasn't been easy at all but I have been doing the very best I can for all 3 of my kids!

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  5. You proved at a young age you are a fighter and quite amazing. Good for you! Your kids are lucky to have such a strong, determined woman for a mom.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. Thaks Kathy! They are to young yet to realize it, but they will one day :)

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  6. Of course, it's brilliant that you did so well, but a word to the wise... never lose that inner bad ass *wink*

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    1. Oh Never Mojo! That inner bad ass is in my blood! hahahaa! You can take the girl out the bad but you can never take the bad outta the girl ;)

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  7. Glad you were able to find your way through the horribleness that is high school.

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  8. Now I wasn't a teen Mom--but I do believe that becoming a Mom for the first time really does change us--whether we want it to our not--our perception of the world changes the moment that bundle of joy is first placed in our arms. Hopefully it changes for the better, but I know for some that isn't always the case. I'm glad in your case it did change you for the better!!

    Cheers, Jenn

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    1. I don't think I will ever understand how it wouldn't change someone for the better. But everything happens for a reason I suppose :)

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  9. It's great that you can look back and have such a positive attitude toward the things you went through. I hope your daughter always knows what a miracle she was and is for you.

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    1. She is to young right now, but she will know when she is older! I will make sure of it :)

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  10. I like your strength and inner moral courage. Just be like this always. Love and Light

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    1. I have my good days and my bad days just like everyone else.. But I certainly try to remain positive...

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  11. Sorry that you had such a tough time.But you have handled everything so beautifully.Your children are lucky to have a strong and dependable mother.all the best:)

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    1. Nah, I am the lucky one. Without them, I wouldn't be where I am today!!

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  12. Wow, you showed a great deal of strength in changing your life and your priorities. Motherhood has a wonderful way of taking us straight to being true grown-ups.

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  13. WOW and you must so be able to relate to her (your daughter) today..what a close relationship you two must have. COURAGEOUS soul you! I think it takes courage to relive these memories..never mind just walking them out! SMILE and walk tall my friend.....you are a champion

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    1. My daughter and I are actually so much alike that we butt heads quite a bit lol Especially with puberty creeping up ohh so close. I look at it as my past, and that's where it stays! :)

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