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Sunday, April 8, 2012


Patience is nothing something I have ever had. I am not sure why, but even as a child I remember not having any kind of patience for anything. Patience is not one of my stronger suits.

As I have already made plain as day, when it comes to men. I make the most horrible decisions ever. I date the wrong men, hell I even married the wrong man. But it doesn't matter how horrible of a decision I have made, or how many times I have had my heartbroken. I have always kept my heart open for love.

But love just isn't at the top of my list anymore, not like it used to be. I don't think I have the patience for it anymore, or maybe I just don't want too? Who knows. I just know I don't want that to be at the top of any list anymore.

See, my kids and my family needs always come first. But sometimes I wonder, when do I come first? And of course my needs will always come in dead last, especially when it comes  to my children. That will never change. But I wonder, maybe just maybe I can squeeze in my needs somewhere along the line? But I think my patience has worn thin.

See, it isn't that I want love, or a "man" and definitely not any sort of long term relationship or even marriage. All I want is a male role model for my children to look up too. Not necessarily a "father" for them, well hopefully one day, but just a male they can look up to for things, or call if they need something or whatever the case maybe! Is that too much to ask?

I always used to think I was making the right decisions, but I think it was about my patience. I would just give up and settle for whatever was in front of me, because I really don't have the patience for the whole getting to know someone thing and then the whole dating thing and yadda yadda you all know how it works. Screw it, I am done with going down that path!

But am I really? Or has my patience just ran thin?


  1. No, you are not done forever, but I think you are done for a while. Just take care of your children and yourself. If there is a man in your future, he will find you in due time. Just don't go looking.... That never works out...

  2. It is really hard to have patience with life, because it never happens at the speed that a person would like it to.


  3. Frankly, I just think you need to take a break. Take care of your kids and yourself. Concentrate on these two things because they are really the most important. Everything else will happen when you least expect it.



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