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Friday, April 13, 2012

I Quit

So, I have been sick as a dog for the last 2 days. I haven't wanted to leave my bed. But because I am a single mother of 3, resting when I am sick is not an option, but it's also something I am used too. At this very moment, I do have insurance but I do not have a primary physician. So when something happens like now when I have a horrible ear infection, so much congestion going on I can't even sleep, all I can do is wait it out. It's either wait it out or go to the emergency room and wait for 6 hours to be seen and given a script. And I don't have that kinda time, sick or not.

I am also soo damn broke at the moment, I don't even have diapers for my daughter. So I tried to enlist in my family and friends for help. Help with diapers, and help with some sort of over the counter meds for this nasty sinus thing I have going on. And you know where that got me? A whole lotta nowhere. I swallowed every inch of my pride (and that's a lot of pride) to finally ask for help since divorcing my husband and I got nothing at all.

So as of today, I have quit everyone around me. I have quit the people who claim they are "family" and those that claim they are "friends." When they need something, I am always there for them, even at 3am when they need a babysitter to go to the emergency room. But when I finally need something, no one is around. They are too busy to even return a phone call or stop by. So I quit.

I am quitting those people in my life. I can't take the pain anymore. I have enough of other things going on, that I just quit. They are occupying too many things in my heart and in my mind, that I just can't tolerate it anymore. I am worth more then that as a person, and if the people around me can't see that, then they do not deserve to be apart of my life any longer.

So this is the voicemail I have left on my phone:

"I am making changes in my life. So if you do not hear from me, you are one of them..."


...Enough said

5 comments:

  1. Sometimes you have to dump the poison before you become poison too. Good girl! If a friend/family member is dragging you down, then they don't really care about you anyway, so why keep them in your life? Do it!

    Hope you feel better soon...

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  2. very wise of you. I hope things start to look up for you very soon. <3

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  3. If that is what will make you happy, then good deal, but if you are doing it out of anger, maybe not such a good decision. It's a cold world to be alone. Don't sever your family if you are just angry that they couldn't or wouldn't help you out financially. There could be a lot of reasons for that. Are they there for you emotionally? If not, then make the cut and stick to it because that's what you really need.
    Hang tuff the sun'll come up tomorrow.

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    1. No, they aren't their emotionally either. It isn't about the money at all. A lot more issues then what I've stated here...

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  4. I think you did the right thing. Hope you feel better and things start looking up for you. At least you know, you are on your own...and everyone that refused to help when you needed help you won't have to feel any guilt when you refuse them in the future. In that karma is a beautiful thing. Prayers for you. I know all about being dead broke with no money for doctors and no one to watch the kids.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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