So, I have been sick as a dog for the last 2 days. I haven't wanted to leave my bed. But because I am a single mother of 3, resting when I am sick is not an option, but it's also something I am used too. At this very moment, I do have insurance but I do not have a primary physician. So when something happens like now when I have a horrible ear infection, so much congestion going on I can't even sleep, all I can do is wait it out. It's either wait it out or go to the emergency room and wait for 6 hours to be seen and given a script. And I don't have that kinda time, sick or not.
I am also soo damn broke at the moment, I don't even have diapers for my daughter. So I tried to enlist in my family and friends for help. Help with diapers, and help with some sort of over the counter meds for this nasty sinus thing I have going on. And you know where that got me? A whole lotta nowhere. I swallowed every inch of my pride (and that's a lot of pride) to finally ask for help since divorcing my husband and I got nothing at all.
So as of today, I have quit everyone around me. I have quit the people who claim they are "family" and those that claim they are "friends." When they need something, I am always there for them, even at 3am when they need a babysitter to go to the emergency room. But when I finally need something, no one is around. They are too busy to even return a phone call or stop by. So I quit.
I am quitting those people in my life. I can't take the pain anymore. I have enough of other things going on, that I just quit. They are occupying too many things in my heart and in my mind, that I just can't tolerate it anymore. I am worth more then that as a person, and if the people around me can't see that, then they do not deserve to be apart of my life any longer.
So this is the voicemail I have left on my phone:
"I am making changes in my life. So if you do not hear from me, you are one of them..."