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Monday, March 19, 2012

Makin A List And Checkin It Alot..

So I have this list in my head of all these things I want to accomplish in life. But I have realized that about 85% of what I want to do is just not logical. So I have cut my list down to things that I know without a doubt I can accomplish. Some may only take awhile, and the rest a lifetime. Only time will tell :)

1) I would like to one day, be able to tell someone that I love myself.

I have struggled with this for as long as I can remember. I do not love myself. I don't love anything about myself, my looks, my body, my personality. Absolutely nothing. And it has sometimes left me wondering how I love anyone else, if I can't love myself?

2) I'd like to better manage my pain.

This is something I will have to work with my doctors about. But as of today, I have good days and bad days. Mostly bad days. But I want to be able to go outside and throw a ball around with my children without feeling like I need to sit down because my body is just toooo tired to stand up and do it.

3) One day, I'd like to fall in love again.

I think one of the greatest feelings in the world, is loving someone and being loved the same in return. I've never made the right kind of choices in men. But I am hoping one day it will happen for me again. I just don't feel complete without love in my life..(besides my children of course.)

4) I would love to lose weight

My doctor put me on a steroid medication not long ago that made me gain almost 40 pounds. When I put on the weight, I struggled more with my back. So I'm not capable of doing much but with the weather turning nicer I am very capable of walking, so I have walked almost 5 miles in the last 3 days. Overworking it a little I know, but I will get back to a descent weight that will not kill  the rest of my body.

5) I will better teach my children the life lessons they need to know.

I need to teach my daughters the things they will need to know as a woman, but also the things they will need to take care of if they don't have a man around. By that I mean, changing a tire if she has a flat, or showing her how to change the oil in a car. It's nice to have a man around, but as a female she will need to learn these things. I will also teach my son to be sensitive to others, not to make him a "sissy" but to teach him to have manners, and show respect for women, and also how to be a "man" around the house for the long awaited day that he is on his own and will need to take care of himself.

So those are my top 5 things I want to work on. Like I said, some may only take a short time and the rest may take awhile. But I have nothing but time on my hands, so one day at a time :)


  1. And that is all we have, one day at a time. You just keep pluggin' away. Great post. Great plan.

  2. Great post!! Thanks for sharing your list. :) I think you have a very do-able plan.

  3. You have a great plan for your life all mapped out in that list. Just take it one day at a time, one minute at a time...and you know will succeed. I have faith in you!


  4. I am sure that one major thing you already achieved - being a great mom! The rest will come, as Jo says one day at a time!

    1. Ahh, I wouldn't call myself great. But I've gotten pretty good at it over the past 10 years ;)

  5. Hang tight and remember to give yourself credit for the stuff you get right. In other words, hold yourself to a high standard, but not higher than you would a dear friend.

  6. Why not love yourself a little bit at a time? We are all a work in progress, and my bod's been in better shape than it is now, but I can honestly say, without bragging, that the fingernail on my left hand ring finger is absolutely gorgeous right now. Love the length, the shape, it's just so pretty.

    You are working on your Issues, which is more than a lot of people do. I bet, if you tried, you could make a list of things that are awesome about you. You honesty, for one.


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