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Thursday, December 22, 2016

How The Times Change

It has been so long since I have been able to write a blog that I wouldn't even know where to start with it all. Everything that I thought my life was, is no more. I have done a complete overhaul of my life and dropped everything and started from scratch you could say.

For a very long time I stayed in a relationship with a man that I thought I was meant to be with forever. I loved him so deeply that I would do anything for him, and I did just that. I did ANYTHING for him. All the way down to cutting out my entire life as it was. I found myself losing people I loved deeply, lying about things I shouldn't have been lying about, making excuse after excuse for his actions and mine. All the while I was was completely oblivious to what was really happening in front of my face. It was abuse. Abuse all the time. Control and abuse. Every moment of my life I was being controlled and if he didn't like it, there would come the abuse. Whether it be mental, emotional or physical.

I stayed for as long as I did because I really did love him. I loved him more than I had loved any other man I never had children with. So I stayed and fought and tried my hardest to get this man help. He even had me convinced a time or two that he was going to get help and then he would fall right back into the same old patterns and routines. And I stayed because frankly, I was just tired of RUNNING. I felt like I had RAN from every relationship I had ever been in my entire life for one reason or another. I felt at the time (and still believe) they are valid reasons as to why I left. But I left nonetheless. And I am 31 years old. I don't want to run. I want to be able to wake up to the same person every single day for the rest of my life and fight and argue and still love each other without getting punched in the face. Figuratively or literally. And just find that deep, real love I have been searching for my entire life and have it for the rest of my life.

But I will no longer subject myself or my children to violence of any sorts. I will not hide or make excuses for myself or him anymore. I will never look back and I will never put myself in a situation like that ever again. I have left him and I am never looking back. I have uprooted everything.

I decided enough was enough. I packed the kids clothes, my clothes and took all of our important papers and I left the city altogether. I am staying with a friend. A new city, a new start, new friends, and maybe one day a new love. But for now I am just going to focus strictly on building the best foundation I can for my children. They deserve a stronger mother than the person I have been lately.

That man had beaten me down so far, I don't even know who I am anymore. At this point my kids are the only reason I get out of bed everyday because I have no other reason too. I am tired. My soul is just tired.. My body is tired. And I just need a vacation. Or maybe a girl's night would work. But I need something to regather my thoughts and scattered brain. My kids are my only motivation these days. So I will use that to get back to the person I used to be, I hope.

So while I am writing this. I want to take a moment to apologize to anyone I may have hurt or wronged in anyway. And I will no longer be going back to him, he will just be a nightmare in the back of my mind and a piece of my history. What is done, is done.

Now our new life, 56 miles away begins......

Friday, January 15, 2016

Just Venting...

I have an unmanageable amount of pain and and unlimited amount of anger. And do you know why? I can tell you why. What I am about to share is what it's like every single day of my life. From the time I wake up until I go to sleep, what I do get of it that is.

Every morning I wake up. I spend anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes just convincing myself to sit up. I fight my body and soul every morning before I can even make coffee. And I say , "You have shit to do, you HAVE to get up" And against my body's wishes I sit up.

By the time I get in the sitting position it feels like I have an elephant sitting on my shoulders, pressing down on my back. I sit there for a minimum of 5 minutes. There are some days I need to sit there longer than that. But because of the nerve damage to my body I can't. Because if I sit there any longer than that I will (and have) peed my pants. Who doesn't love that? 30 years old and I still pee my pants. Sad eh?

I finally make it to the bathroom, which is literally just 2 feet from my bed because I had a toilet installed in my laundry room because I couldn't walk up the 18 stairs to get to the upstairs bathroom. And I sit. I sit there, even after I am done taking care of business because my body is just plain tired and I really don't have the energy to fight my body anymore. But I push myself every day because I know it needs to be done and there is no way around any of it. 

I make my way to the kitchen to make coffee. I can't survive without it. Get my cup made and right back down I sit. I have to sit because my body feels like I just ran 5 miles and all I did was walk to the kitchen. That is how TIRED my body is.

Some days the amount of pain that I am in is unreal. I will cry as I am doing things. There have been some mornings I am crying as I get my kids ready for school because my body hurts so much that all I can do is cry. Because whether I hurt or not, my children still need me. There is no way around that. So I have to do what I have to do. And whether it hurts or not I will still take care of my family. That is my job... But..

I am so tired. Having to get up every single morning just to have to fight my body just to get to the bathroom is exhausting. On top of everything else that I have to do on a daily basis. My 3 children are in school all day long and I am a bit thankful for that, so I have a chance to "recharge" while they are gone, but my work is never done. I still have to cook, clean, run errands, do laundry, and take care of not 1 or 2 but THREE pitbulls to boot. I never get any rest. I am on call 24/7 and that would be 100% okay if only I wasn't fighting my body as much as I do. 

In 2012 when I had 3 different doctor's opinions, that told me the only thing left to do was have surgery. I believed them, I trusted them. You are supposed to trust your doctor and believe that they only want the best for you, right? I no longer agree with this and I don't trust anyone with a medical license.

December 2012 rolled around and I had surgery. I was in so much pain then that I couldn't even stand being in my own skin. I didn't want to move. It physically hurt me just to breathe. So I did what I was told to do, wait it out. Any type of surgery that you have will take a lot out of your body. So I did the healing process. I thought maybe time would heal and I would start to feel better a little down the road after I had a chance to re-coop. While I was trying to heal, I still had 3 kids to take care of. So against doctor's orders I had to get up every single day to be mommy. I didn't have any options. At that point and time it was just me. It was my children and I and that's where it ended up. It was just a few days before the new year (the 28th to be exact) I was headed out to go somewhere, and I slipped and fell on ice. I fell HARD. I fell so hard that it ended up knocking my newfound curtain rods and deck screws out of place and I had to go back in to fix it because one of the screws was pressing against my nerve causing the intense pain.

When they cut into me the first time, they had to sever my nerve to get to the discs in my back. The second surgery they had to do the same, when the scar tissue wasn't even healed from the first surgery. That is what caused my sciatica pain. And a million x-rays and CT scans and MRI's later they told me they had come to the conclusion that the damage to my nerve was permanent and it would only get worse over time. When I found that news out, I think I cried for a week straight. I didn't understand (still don't) WHY they can't do anything to help me. Is there really nothing else that can be done?

Fast forward a couple years and here I am. Having back surgery has been my only regret at the end of the night. All day and all night long I fight my body. But I also fight my soul just as often. When I lay down at night, that is when my demon's want to come out to play.

The point of having surgery was to BETTER my quality of life. I read on the statistics of my surgery and there was a 85% success rate. At the time those seemed like good odds to me. I didn't take into account the kind of luck I have. And usually that awful side effect you see on the side of your pill bottle, is usually what happens to me.

When I lay down at night, it takes me hours to get comfortable enough to even attempt to try and sleep. The entire house is out like a light and here I am laying in bed underneath my electric blanket wondering what I did in a past life to deserve this pain I have to deal with every single day.

I try so hard to lead a normal life. I just want to be able to get up every morning and get my kids ready for school. I want to be able to cook and clean and be the mom I have always wanted to be. And I haven't failed. I am raising great kids, I know that. 

The damage to my body has broken my soul. It may sound crazy to some, because you aren't in the amount of pain so you don't understand. It has broken my soul into so many pieces that not a DAY goes by that I am not crying because this is not how life was supposed to go. This is not supposed to be how MY life was supposed to go. I shouldn't have to fight my body to get up every day.

I stopped seeing any kind of doctor almost a year ago. It may sound absolutely insane to everyone else. I've even been asked, "If you are in that much PAIN, why not go to a doctor to take care of it"

I can tell you why. Doctor's have already told me that there is NOTHING else that can be done. Over a 2 year span I seen exactly 34 doctors for various reasons and I got the same thing. Nothing can be done. I will just get worse over time and that's what happened.

I fall alot. A LOT. My legs are always giving out on me, and as time goes by it just gets worse and worse. I have made so many ER trips that some of them even know me by name. And you know what happens then? That is the point and time when I get accused of pill seeking, and I get treated as such. As if I am seeking pills just because. Why would anyone do that? I go into the EMERGENCY ROOM only when I have to. Only when I am in so much pain I can barely move and I can't even breathe without being in intense pain. But I still get TREATED as if I am a pill seeker. When all I want is ONE doctor, just ONE to tell me that there is SOMETHING that can be done to at least keep me at a half functioning level in life. I am 30 years old and they tell me that I have the body of an 85 year old woman. NO ONE around me understands this.

I have people in my own family that treat me as if I am lying. I have been called names. I've been told I am lazy and do nothing. I get looked at and treated like I am an addict. Do you know how that feels? So I stopped going to any doctor's offices. Why do I have to prove I am in pain? I shouldn't have to! The evidence to my suffering is right there in my blood work and right there in the trillion different x-rays and MRI's and all that great stuff. Yet, when I walk into a doctor's office I have to prove that I am sick. I have to prove that I am in pain and it should NOT have to be this way. I should not have to prove to doctor's or my family or ANYONE that I am in pain.

I get told a lot that I am an oversharer. I am always talking about being in pain and get told I am "whining" or I shouldn't say anything since I refuse to go back to the doctor's, therefore I am "refusing" help, so I just need to be quiet. There is a lot that I don't share. If anyone really knew about the things I don't share, you would be amazed. If you sit and think about what I do share, can you imagine what I keep to myself?

Living the way I do, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Yes, of course I am depressed. Wouldn't you be depressed if you had to convince EVERYONE around you that you were in constant pain? Wouldn't constant pain make you depressed?

I am not sure how much more I can take. I am tired all the time, my body is always hurting. My limbs feel like they have barbed wire wrapped around them, and just this week I have fallen down so many times that I have lost track. I hate myself. I hate that this is who I have become. I hate that here I sit, still trying to convince other people that I am in pain and I just want someone to ACKNOWLEDGE it! All I want is HELP so I don't have to feel this way. And I will never get it.

I don't know where I go from here, I don't know what to do. But I know that I don't want to live in this much pain anymore. I am just tired. And I am even more tired of being tired and there isn't anyone to help. I am on my own and I don't know where to go from here. I am sad all the time and I am angry at myself for even letting it happen in the first place.

I know that this is NO WAY to live. But what are my options?

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

An Open Letter To My Teenage Daughter

We are exactly 14 days away from your 14th birthday. I have watched you learn. I have watched you try and fail. I have watched you love and grow and become the young woman that you are today. Your teenage years are going to be your favorite memories. The memories you have when you are 30 years old raising your own kids. And while you travel this road, I will be right here with you every single step of the way. Here are just a few things I want to share with you.

You are worthy of love. Real love! I will be here for you no matter you do or where your life decides to take you. That love we see from people on TV. How they do it so well, but in reality, real life people struggle with.

Don't let the broken relationship with your father mold any part of your future. There was nothing that you did to make this person who was supposed to help raise you, help guide you and teach you about life from "daddy's eyes" to leave you in the cold. 

He failed. Not you.

Did you hear what I just said? HE has failed you! Not the other way around.

Don't ever doubt your self-worth and stop finding ways to blame yourself for his short comings.

It breaks my heart as I watch you struggle with his short comings, when it isn't your fault.

I will NOT sit here and put all the blame on him. At first it was partially my fault. I did keep you away from him when he decided in 2008 that he wanted legal paperwork to try and take you from me. After I sat and talked with you, we decided together that right then and there, at that specific point and time it was not the RIGHT time for you to be in your father's life, do you remember?

Things changed. Life changed on us. And that's what happens. Everything is going great and life will throw you a curve ball. And on the Eve of your 13th birthday, you wanted to be in contact with him. So I let it happen. I stood by as I watched my little girl try to mend what has been broken with her father for many years. I can't sit here and speak for him, at all. I have no idea what kind of person he is now, only who he was so many years ago when you were brought into this world. I let you make your own opinions and choices when it comes to your father, so you can see for yourself and make your own judgments on how you want your future with him to go.

For the last 2 years I have watched you struggle with your father. I have seen the heartbreak in your eyes when you have come home from visiting and he isn't the man you thought he was. I have hugged you when you have cried, I have been here for you every step of the way. And I will tell you now, just as I have from the beginning, NO MATTER WHAT you will always have me. Through the good, the bad and the ugly.

Please try not to group every man on this planet in the same category. Give guys a real chance when they earn it because they aren't all the same. Don't seek out their flaws and imperfections or wait for the moment when they are going to let you down and leave. CHERISH THEM.

Enjoy the blessings that you do have. Explore what you have learned in life and how it has shaped the person you are today.

Me? Well. I forgive to easily. You have seen how Grandpa Jack has let me down over and over again. And how I let him back into my life, and how I tried to be apart of his. And he walked out every single time. The year your baby sister was born was the last year I spoke with him. HE chose to walk out of our lives and never come back. It took me a long time to accept that fact. It took me a LONG time to accept that he never was or will be the man I thought he would be, a father. And as I sit here writing you today, I forgive him. It still makes me sad and angry on some days, but my life is not overcome by how he has failed me.

I have learned that I am a strong woman. I have been through a lot. Back surgeries and cancer and rare blood disorders. Heartache. Pain. But I have overcome it all and it has made me who I am today. Not only have I survived, but I will find a way to thrive through it all.

It's okay to be sad, angry, devastated and even lonely. However you choose to feel - it's okay! That doesn't mean you pack your bags and move there. Be sad and angry and heartbroken, play a sad song and reminisce. And then, be okay.

We don't always see eye to eye, you and me. Most of the time we are butting heads because you are so much like your father that our personalities clash. But I know, as I sit here and think about your first words, first steps, first day of school. first hair cut, first best friend and first EVERYTHING. That I am raising strong children. Strong daughters. I am raising YOU. 

I make my mistakes along the way, but I have learned from them. Mommyhood didn't come with an instruction manual. Most days I am just winging it. Trying to raise you the best way that I know how. Making sure you have everything in life that you want. Making sure that you have everything that you don't even know you want yet. And I will be here for you every step of the way, no matter what. But here are the most important things you need to know

You are worth it.

You are amazing.

You are beautiful.

Find that passion inside of you and run with it and don't ever stop until your heart is so full of joy and happiness you are glowing.

Sometimes you think I am being mean to you. I am hard on you. That I expect to much from you. This is not the case at all. I am the way I am because I was raised by strong women. We are surrounded by strong women in this family. Your Grandmother, your Aunt, your great Aunt's, your great-grandmother's and your great-great grandmother. And your only Mother. We are a family of strong women, and it will continue to be that way until the end of our time.

Your high school years will NOT in fact be the best days of your life. You will have great memories from high school, of course. But College is where you will make your lifetime moments. So hold on to your knicker's, Dolly. Life is a beautiful struggle.

Just know that through all the struggles that life may (or may not) throw your way, I will always be here for you/ Until my dying breath I will always be at your side. Routing for you. At every concert and assembly, every game, your prom, your first boyfriend, every happiness and every heart ache. I will always be in your corner, always.

Shine on my sweet girl, shine on.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

30 things I have learned from my children in 14 years

Doesn't that even sound strange to say out loud? That's right, folks! November 27th I turned the dirty thirty and my oldest daughter will be 14 on January 19th. My baby girl isn't a baby anymore. But along with parenthood, I have learned alot more from my kids than I have the rest of the world. So I have put together a little list.

1. Life really isn't just about learning about yourself, it's also about creating yourself.

2. When your teenage daughter says, "I hate you" they still love and need you

3. Your kids need to learn to hash out their own arguements before they turn to mom or dad. Side note: If your child is like my oldest, they may make an AWESOME lawyer!

4. It's okay to let your child go to school dressed as Punky Brewster.

5. You most definitely can raise a family on a tight budget. You just have to learn to be creative. And as my late great-grandmother would say, "You can add everything but the kitchen sink in there!"

6. Those moments as mom's when we feel like we are failing and feel the the worst person in the world for our kids, just means we are doing our job! And rocking at it.

7. Your kid's don't care if you swallowed a skunk in your sleep, they will still kiss you with morning breath and all.

8. Although this wonderful number I am still learning. But it is NECESSARY to learn to pick your battles. Choose wisely my friends.

9. Tell them as often as you can that you love them. Tell them that you love them through the good, bad and ugly. Sometimes just hearing it from mommy or daddy just makes it all better. No matter what age they are. Tell them it is 100% impossible for you to not love them.

10. Every once in awhile, surprise your kids with cake or brownies for dinner, I promise they won't miss out on any lack of nutrition and you won't have to cook. You look more like an awesome mom and did I mention that you don't have to cook!?

11. Garbage bags don't make good parachutes, at all.

12. Never leave your infant alone longer than 5 seconds. This kinda stuff happens.

13.Spend less time cleaning your house and making it perfect. When your kids get older they won't remember the messy house. But they will remember all the fun and exciting things they did with you, in that twister destroyed house of yours.

14. The best way to get your children's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. And they will come running like a flock of birds.

15. ALWAYS leave a plastic bag and a small bag of baby wipes in the car, even if you don't have small children. At some point, one of your kids will inevitably throw up. And throw up is the worst possible smell to ever get out of your car.

16. Having a romantic night out with your spouse is not only necessary for your kids, but for your own sanity. So do whatever you have to do to make time for it.

17. As long as you can afford it of course, own a pet. Even if it is something small like a fish. *I* think it teaches your children responsibility at a young age and they will grow up with a best friend,

18. Never EVER take parenting advice from someone who has never had children. They don't know you and they REALLY don't know your children. What is good for the goose isn't always good for the gander.

19.You can child proof your house all day long, but they will still get in.

20. Watching your children play in the rain, is one of the most joyous moments you will ever have in your life! And something they will never forget.

21. My mother always warned me, "Your child is going to be 10 worse than you ever were!" She was right. You heard me mom, YOU WERE RIGHT!

22. Listen when your children talk to you. Even if they walk in the door and start talking about things you really don't want to hear. If you don't listen to them about the small things, they will have problems talking to you about the really big and important things.

23. Let your children see you cry every now and then. It lets them know that you are human and you also have feelings.

24. Your first cousin is usually your best friend, even as you get older.

25. Let your kids do your hair and paint your nails. It may seem silly and goofy to you now, but your kids and nieces and nephews will remember it when they reach their twenties.

26. If you are a mother of boys, it doesn't matter what you do. There feet will ALWAYS stink. Have them take their shoes off on the porch to air out over night.

27. Your children will ALWAYS embarrass you at the most inappropriate time, get used to it. It will only get worse as they get older! Trust me on this one.

28. Get used to weird questions and come up with quick responses. For example, "Mom, why don't mommy's have penises too?" These questions still happen, even if they know about Adam and Eve or not.

29.Yes, he/she is your brother and NO you can't put them for sale on craigslist. Only mommy can do that.

30. You can buy them the most expensive gift they have ever wanted their entire 5 years of life, and they will still spend 8 hours a day playing with the box it came in.

 A) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical.
 B) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. C) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. D) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. E) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

10 Places To Score Free Stuff on Your Birthday!

With my birthday just a few short days away, I decided to look for places that offer free stuff! Who doesn't love free stuff? I know I do!! f I have missed anything please let me know and I will add it to the list!!

-Baskin Robbins ~ If you join their email club you get a free scoop of ice cream!

-Dunkin Donuts ~ one FREE coffee on your birthday!

-Dairy Queen ~ You get free blizzard's on your special day. WOO HOO! Blizzards are awesome.

-Hooters ~ Hooter's offers free wings

-Denny's ~  Denny's offers you a free breakfast (of a few different choices) as long as you have ID

-IHOP ~ IHOP gives you a short stack of pancakes

-Arby's ~ Sign up for Arby Deals, and you'll get a free sandwich on your birthday with the purchase of a sandwich

-Ruby Tuesday's ~ You can join the birthday club and enjoy a free burger

-Qdoba ~ Join the Qdoba Rewards Club and get a free burrito on your special day!

-Starbucks ~ On Valentine's Day they offer BOGO coffee's, and if you are a member of their rewards club you also get a free drink on your birthday.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Luck! Or lack thereof..

When it comes to luck, I always say, "If it weren't for bad luck, I would have no luck at all!" This has proven to be true most of my life. Let me give you some examples below:

Back in 2012 I had serious issues with my back and ended up having surgery. The Surgery went well and I went home 5 days later. I got home and started my healing process. Exactly 5 days later, I was up taking care of my kids and doing my daily mom duties and as I was walking outside, I slipped on the icy stairs and landed square on my ass. I went back into my doctor's office as I was instructed and learned that the screws that had been placed in my back were now OUT of place and were pressing directly unto my sciatica nerve causing intense pain. So I had to have a 2nd surgery.

In August of this year, finances became tight and we ended up shutting our phones off because we couldn't afford the bill. I was fine with it, as I truly despise having a phone in the first place. So I dealt with it like I do everything else and all was good. A short 2 months later I had car troubles. While I was on my way out West to get my children's glasses (a 25 minute drive) my car decided to break down on the interstate of all places. Mind you I don't have a cell phone. So even though I can't do a whole lot of walking these days, I started walking, on the interstate. I had to get to a gas station to call someone because my car wasn't going anywhere. I walked about a mile to the gas station. I get there and the gas station does NOT have a payphone. So I walked inside and asked if they would let me use the phone. She very rudely said, " You can, but it will cost you $2" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? To use a phone that YOU don't even pay for? Well I just said to myself "it is what it is" and proceeded to get cash out of the ATM because I don't carry any cash at all most of the time. I walk over and the ATM is being worked on. The ATM is out of order/ At this point I am FURIOUS and ready to throat punch this woman. But I kept my cool, went into the bathroom and as I sat down I realized that I had WiFi. So I proceeded to call someone on Facebook (that really came in handy, thanks Facebook!) I was relieved! I got ahold of someone and proceeded to sit in there little breakfast nook that they had. The very rude gas station made sure to come on over and proceeded to inform me that the breakfast nook was for "paying customer's only" and I had to purchase something if I wanted to sit there. And there credit card machines were down. So I guess I am sitting outside while I wait. This was during our first 'cold' week of the month. It was about 40 degrees outside. I was furious.

By the time my help arrives, I get back to my car and we try to access the problem so I can continue on. The car was having issues but I was told it was okay to continue on, so I do. I get about 3 miles down the road and I get off the interstate. As I am stopping at the light, my piece of crap car decides to die out! Right in the middle of the street. I was furious and kicking myself and thought "I knew I should have went home.." I sat in the middle of the off ramp for almost 30 minutes before a very kind citizen of this horrible city decided to stop and ask if I needed help/ I used his phone and called for my help to come get me because my car wasn't even turning over. I thanked him profusely for stopping. I was almost in tears. I couldn't believe that I sat, broke down in the middle of the off ramp for almost a half an hour before anyone stopped to help/ While I was waiting to be rescued, again! I had to get my car out of the way. I had almost been rear-ended twice because people just don't pay attention. So I slammed the bitch and neutral and pushed it out of the way. It almost killed me. Everyone who knows me already knows that because of my health issues this is something that I shouldn't have done. I did regret it the next day because every orifice in my body was hurting. But I knew that I had to do what I had to do to get it done.

I left the car that day, and waited a few hours to have it towed home. Here it is the middle of November and it is still sitting. I have no car. Because that is how my luck goes. I think I have the worst luck on the planet. At least that is how it feels most days. But that doesn't stop me from trying to make things better.

I do believe that you can make your own luck, so that's what I try to do. I don't have a lucky number at all. But I do have my lucky unicorn! It's sounds weird, but I do have a unicorn that goes everywhere with me and most people don't know about it. It is a unicorn "coin" that was given to me as a gift from my grandma. It is always with me. The day of my car breaking down, I didn't have my unicorn with me. I'm not sure if that was pure bad luck or if it was just fate, I guess I will never know. All I do know is that is has gone with me everywhere every single day since. So I hope it helps turns things around for me. I guess only time will tell :)

How is your luck? Are you the superstitious type?

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Children and Technology

It is almost 2016 and a lot has changed in this millennium. So much has changed so quickly that is almost makes my head spin. I can't believe all that has changed from "back in my day." And I say that like I am the oldest person in world. But it leaves me almost dumbfounded.

I remember when I was 14 I was rocking a pager. My parents had given me the choice of the 25lb cell phone (that had just made it's debut) or a pager, and I opted for the pager because even then I didn't want anyone to get a hold of me quickly. The internet had also just made it's debut and it didn't have anything that is does today. It was just something new that had come out and very few people even used it.

It was brand new and I didn't like it, still don't. I have never been a person who is good with change. So when the internet made it's debut I didn't think twice about it. We didn't have smart phones or facebook and twitter. We had school. In order to get a message around to your friends you had to pass notes. And we thought we were the coolest kids ever. Of course, this was the early 90's. But we still loved writing our notes with our awesome and what we thought, very expensive gel pens.

Now let's fast forward to 2015. As of this year there is so much technology it makes your head spin 8 ways from Sunday. We have GPS, Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, Facetime, Skype, laptops and printers, smart cars, common core, spaulding learning, playstations, Xbox's, Netflix, Cable, Satelitte, Google Earth, tablets and Ipad's, and smart watches. Why do we need any of these things?

Because we live in a day in age where we have to have these things. You have to have a telephone of some sort, especially if you have kids. In the school system they have your children working with things in the internet, they have to do research on the computer and not the old fashioned way. Going to the library, looking the book up, reading it and doing your assignment. Things have changed so much it's scary to me.

Everything has become so reliant on technology that we have smart washing machines and smart refrigerators and smart oven's. Why? I have my opinion on that. We as a society have become pure lazy. We have relied so much on technology that if the nation were under a fire sale, we would be screwed as an entire nation. Our children wouldn't know what to do if they had to do without it all. To them, we would be living back in the stone age and that makes my heart hurt.

Where our nation and school systems are failing us (just my thought) we as parent's need to step up and teach our children what they need to know. Would your children know what to do if they didn't have technology to help them? If you walked up to them right now, would they be able to give you change for a $100 bill without needing a calculator? Do they know how to read a map? Do they know how to read sheet music? Do they know how to do research on a topic, without the assistance of the internet or any other new technology? Do they know all of our nation's amendment's?

These are the questions I don't have answers for. So what do we do as parent's to teach them? What roads do we take to teach our children what our school system isn't? Are your children to reliant on technology?

Don't get me wrong, as a society we have needed change. We have needed to upgrade our technology to survive, but is it all really necessary?

I have asked a lot of questions here. Do you have answers for any of them?  Let me know what you have to say below!